Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
