i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
