oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
