I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
As shirtless as possible
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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