Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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