i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
