we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize