Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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