i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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