i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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