he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
