she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
