Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I need water and some morals
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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