Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
