Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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