i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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