: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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