Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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