i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
