are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
