I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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