Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
