So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dignity is for republicans.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
