My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
