Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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