Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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