it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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