Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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