So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
