I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
