Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
