Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
