I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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