Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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