i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
