She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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