he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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