He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
