if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
