After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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