Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
