i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize