nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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