How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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