I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
