Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just cropdusted the office
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
