I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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