Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
NoShamevember. You game?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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