i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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