you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
