1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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