I just saw a hot homeless man
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
