Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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