hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
