I wannas sexs uuuuu
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize