heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
