So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
