Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize