Where are you?
In a non slutty way
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Found your dick twin last night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
