I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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