please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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