Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
