and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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