one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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