Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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