somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
