Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
