how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
