So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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