he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
