Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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