you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize