There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Randomize
