he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
