so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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