Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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