My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
my poor anus
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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