I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize